New Rule: The problem isn’t that there’s too little civility in government, it’s that there’s too much. President Obama’s state of the union speech is next week, and as you’ve probably heard, members of congress have agreed, in response to the tragedy in Arizona, to break with the tradition of Republicans on one side of the room and Democrats on the other. Instead, they’re all going to sit together, conservative next to liberal, gay next to straight, nerd next to jock. Oh wait, that was an episode of “Glee”.
In any event, the two parties are coming together, and they’ve agreed Joe Lieberman has to sit by himself. Now I must say America is such a mystery to me. A lunatic used a Glock to shoot 19 people, and our answer is “Don’t try to control guns or nuts, just be more polite.” Now, I’m just a hockey mom, but… it seems to me when a madman kills people, the problem isn’t the first amendment, it’s the second.
In his big speech, president Obama said we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children’s expectations. The first of which, I’m guessing, would be to live in a country were children don’t get shot when they leave the house. That’s what’s important. Who gives a damn if politicians mask their disdain for each other with forced niceties? They do it already. “My good friend from the great state of Alabama.” As if they’re really good friends,or anyone outside Alabama thinks it’s a great state.
Oh it’s a love-fest these days. Conservatives couldn’t stop praising Obama’s speech. Of course, because it let them off the hook. The party of assault weapons didn’t get blamed for the assault. Just like the party of oil didn’t get blamed for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Like the party of deregulation skated on tanking the economy.
Again and again, Obama is given the opportunity to lay some richly-deserved blame at the feet of the Republicans, and again and again, he just can’t do it. Because he wants them to like him so badly. Conservatives, stop worrying. He can’t be a Kenyan; he’s a “golden retriever”. He’s done everything he possibly could to appease you short of using bleach.
And when Obama says, “Find a common ground,” oh here comes the bullshit now. Because whenever a Democrat seeks common ground, he always seems to find it right where the Republican was already standing. Ten years ago, we had a ban on extended-ammo clips, so that people like this walking Thorazine ad couldn’t kill supermarket crowds hassle-free. The Republicans killed that ban. And now the compromise is we can never get it back.
I think the old word for that was “surrender”.
Republicans, please note, are not taken in by the myth of common ground. They never move an inch on anything. Gun restrictions are always bad, taxes are always too high, and there’s nothing on earth that can’t be improved by adding either Jesus or bacon.
Sarah Palin knows fewer words than Koko the gorilla. But, it’s not a coincidence that two of them are “Don’t retreat” and the other is “reload”.